2017 Entry 5: Wings

Wow, two blog posts in two days, vacation’s really here, eh?

I still do not know what to write, to rant about, so I am just posting some of my poems which I had made throughout the past few months during the semester.

This semester is fucking shit, I must admit.

All of us are exhausted with our academics and our personal lives.

Goodness, it is damn tiring.

Either way, I really do not remember the context on why I have written another depressing poem. What I just remember is this was written on another dark phase, just a short one–thankfully.


When I was a kid, I always wished to be an angel

Someone who has wings and can fly

Years has come and gone, yet

All I still have are these two damn feet

Which always keeps falling and tripping me

These two

Damn

Feet

Fucking

Sucks

Why do I still not have the wings I have wished for?

I was a good person, wasn’t I?

The need to escape from this cage

Has been bothering me for a while now

I need to escape

To be free

But these two

Damn

Feet

Fucking

Sucks

Why haven’t I learned how to climb?

And then I thought that cage was not bad enough

I was pulled through the depths of hell

The need to escape boiled inside me

As he

She

Everyone

The Devil personified

Licked my skin as it turned my blood into steam

Budging my skin to come out

It turned my skin into burnt scars

I want to go away from these god-forsaken place

But I have no wings

Where the fuck are my damn wings?

Why do I still not have it?

I was a good person, wasn’t I?

Now that I desperately need to escape, the wings aren’t still there

Only I have are these two damn feet

But these two

Damn

Feet

Fucking sucks

In my tiredness I slept, and then I awoke

And found myself in a meadow

A wonderful place

With mountains and forests

With unicorns and all wonderful things

Yet here it is again

Chasing me

Grabbing me

I resist

I resist I resist

I don’t want to

In my desperation I ran

I ran

I ran

Until I was at the edge

So I jumped

There was no bottom

I still have no wings

At least, I flew at once.

Mga Sulat sa Repleksyon ng Buwan

For the past few weeks, I have been searching for a homey feeling. My house was a home, but a home can also not be a house. A home is somewhere you can be your true self, your most comfortable, one you can spend your happiness and loneliness.

On my way home earlier, Ang Bandang Shirley’s Nakauwi Na was on repeat.

And then I was reminded of the fact that a person could be a home. Your bivouac. Your safe place. The way your childhood stuff toy gives you the warmth of home is the same warmth you feel when you are in a person’s arms. Her scent reminds you of your bedroom, hints of cologne and shampoo with a familiar scent of old books. The sound of tranquility when you talk (or not talk), making thoughts noisy and surroundings quiet. The sight of familiarity, as you look to her eyes, and you see yourself on the way home.

And so I remember the chorus of the song:

“Kahit sandali lang, basta’t makasama ka
Kahit mamaya-maya lang, ako’y uuwi na.
Kahit walang katapusan, ‘di kita iiwan
Basta’t makasama ka, ako’y nakauwi na.”

That reminded me of this poem I made for someone I hold dear (circa 2015!). Enjoy, I guess? 🙂


Halika, hiramin muna kita sa mundo;
Dalawampung minuto’y di sapat, siguro isang oras o buong magdamag.

Halika, hiramin muna kita sa mundo,
Tayo’y maglakad at lisanin ang katotohanan,
Bilangin natin ang mga tala,
Pagmasdan ang hugis ng mga madilim na ulap,
Tingnan ang mga repleksyon natin sa buwan;

Halika, hiramin muna kita sa mundo,
Tayo’y mag-usap na parang nakasanayan,
Magpalitan ng ngiti’t tawa sa pagkumpas ng hangin,
Pakinggan ang mga tinig ng kuliglig,
Hanapin natin ang liwanag sa dilim;

Halika, hiramin muna kita sa mundo,
Sa mundong puno ng sakit ng ulo,
O sa mga problemang nananakit ng puso,
Takasan muna natin ang mapait na katotohanan,
Mabuhay muna tayo sa matamis na ilusyon.

Halika, hiramin muna kita sa mundo,
At isasama kita sa aking mundo.
Mundong itinatag nating dalawa,
Walang makakapasok kundi tayo lang,
Sa bulang puno ng tawa at ligaya,
Walang humpay na away,
Walang tigil na luha,
Tayo’y magsasama.
Iwan muna natin ang iba,

Huwag nating hayaan na masira ang ating saglitang panaginip,
Ang ating bula,
Ang atin.
Halika, hiramin muna kita sa mundo.
Masyadong mabilis ang oras.

Halika, hiramin muna kita sa mundo.
Maghihintay lang ako.